astralexpress | i want you, do you want me, too

( There are things March understands that Dan Heng can handle -- enemies, monsters, a whole plateful of delicious food. Even channeling whatever it is he does when he lets himself take on his true form. But she's never seen him exert himself like this; they really were in a tough spot back there, huh? But they're all okay now -- Stelle, Mr. Yang, Himeko -- even Pom-Pom can't help but be relieved when all of them file onto the train afterwards, desperate for the chance to just relax away from everything.

Except--

Dan Heng's not quite right. March can't exactly say what's wrong with him, except that his face isn't really working. And, see, she knows when he's just being Dan Heng and not making any expressions or emoting or whatever, and this isn't it. He hasn't said much since touching the ground again, if anything, and even for Dan Heng that's weird. Everyone's busy trying to take care of themselves, and continue talking to the leadership of the planet they'd been fighting on and for, and Dan Heng does make his way to the Archives without any trouble. But since she's okay, just a little sore, she can see what's going on with him better than anyone else.

Which is why she's knocking on his door, before rocking back and forth on her heels. )

Dan Heng? It's me, March!

[ Even though things ended with minimal injuries, it was a near thing. He's still not used to calling for the power that sits in the back of his skull and having it respond with such a clamor. It makes the seas boil in his veins, and each breath feels insubstantial, the air too light in his chest. There's nothing in there anchoring him down, and it makes his jacket feel like a pile of weights hanging off his shoulders. His sneakers caught on the threshold when he entered the archives, more like cinderblocks than shoes.

He's in the middle of trying to think of the best way to alleviate this newest uncomfortable existence when someone knocks at his door, the sound cushioned by the quiet hum of the servers, and snaps his attention taut. Normally March at least tries to text him first before hunting him down on foot. The train is long enough that a mistaken trip from the dining car to the cabin car can waste time for something small. Did he — where is his phone? Maybe he left it in the parlor car...

Uh. He should... at least see what she needs. Carefully he moves his feet across the floor, avoiding his suitcase and the extra terminals, and slides the door open in a motion that is more familiar than conscious. Dan Heng blinks down at March in the hallway, and carefully musters up the most eloquent sentence he can. ]

... Hi. [ Oh, buddy. ] What's wrong?

What's wrong with you, you mean.

( March doesn't like to just barge in on Dan Heng when he doesn't want her to be there, but she's really, really concerned. So she slides under his arm into the archives, twisting on her feet to face him again. He's doing that thing where he's not having any emotion cross his face. Or his eyes, and that really does mean something's up. )

You haven't said anything at all since after the fight. And normally that's just Dan Heng behavior, right? Only you're also not doing anything with your face. More than usual.

[

... Huh?

If he were feeling better, he might kick himself for his slow reaction time, and not responding fast enough. The cabin door slides itself shut again, and its just them in the archives. ]

I'm... [ Another heady blink, and he takes a breath, lets it out slow like he's about to strike with his spear. ] Yeah.

[ A year ago, Dan Heng wouldn't have let this get this bad, or let March get this far. A year ago, though, Dan Heng hadn't been forced to reveal his true nature, and kept everything safely under wraps. He wouldn't be in this situation to begin with, probably. Things would probably have ended a lot worse with that giant monster, and maybe March wouldn't even be feeling well enough to confront him like this. He'd hate for that to happen. It's good, then, right? That it didn't happen. This is a good thing.

So, why is March making that face? ]

Edited 2024-05-05 03:15 (UTC)

Really, Dan Heng? You don't have to hide that you're not feeling well after all of that from us. We're your family, remember?

( She does reach out to press the inside of her wrist to his forehead, frowning as she lets it rest there for a moment or two before pulling it away. He's not burning up, but he's warmer than he normally is, and clammy.

And his pulse is fluttering, too, in a way that makes her really worried. She chews on her cheek for a moment before setting her shoulders. )

Come on, you're burning up. I'll help you to bed, okay?

Mm.

[ March's hand is cool.

It feels good, and everything focuses in on that point on his forehead with icy clarity while she frets. He failed to catch her coming in through the door, but he won't be caught twice sleeping. When she starts to withdraw her hand, he reaches out to catch her wrist before the motion finishes, and pulls her back, pressing her hand against his face again. Still cold. Under her fingers, Dan Heng takes another slow breath, his eyelashes batting against her skin as he closes his eyes — and leans deeper into the palm of her hand trapped beneath his own, breathing out slow. He'll figure out how to string words together in a second. ]

I'm not... trying to hide.

( While she's just naturally cooler than most, it only takes her a second to realize why Dan Heng has grabbed her hands -- she lowers their temperature even more, though still trying her best to keep it from freezing him. Her other hand goes to cup his cheek as she closes the distance between them, head tilting as she gives him a more detailed once-over. He does seem visibly fine, but-- )

Maybe it would be better if you stopped trying to be human? If you're exhausted from fighting it's probably not going to help.

( Her fingers trace over the line of his cheekbones, soft. His skin is always so nice that feeling it clammy is still unsettling, but hopefully shedding his disguise will help take off some of the burden on his body and let him recover from...

Whatever this is. )

I always have to drink a lot of water after a fight, you know!

[ Another cool hand joins the first, even colder than before, offering blissful relief to the way his blood pounds in his temples. It sends a shiver through his shoulders, a tremor that runs into his chest and out with another determinedly slow exhale. Her hands feel good, give him something to focus on instead of the clamor in his skull. Enough of a focal point that he can open his eyes, and realize that March is right there, in front of him. Close enough to touch, if he lets go of her hands, if she weren't already touching him. So close, that... ]

March, I... [ It's too much to try and put into words. Thoughts race in his head, almost overwhelming the clamor of past lives and permanence's might, and her hands are so blissfully cold. Under his fingers, her own heartbeat flutters in his wrist, a miniature tide of her own that he has no command over.

It vaguely registers to him that March is still talking, that she is saying his name. Calling him back to her from where he is lost in his thoughts. It is so easy to follow, leaning forward to push past her cold hands, and try to catch a taste. To see if her mouth is cold too. ]

( She's certain, more than ever, with the way that he seeks out her cool hands and the way his pulse beats so quickly that even March can hear the hammering of his heart that everything is not as it should be. Dan Heng is unflappable, he's cool and lacks people skills but he's still never been like this. Moving closer to her, and that startles her out of her thoughts long enough that she tries to speak. )

Wha--

( That's all she gets out before Dan Heng is kissing her. Dan Heng is kissing her! She's read a lot of books about this -- her first kiss and their first kiss! -- so she thinks she'd know what to expect. But there aren't any fireworks and the world doesn't change around her or move under her feet. Instead she feels warm, happy, because her first friend in the whole universe is kissing her.

So she presses back, making her lips as cold as her hands because his are scorching hot and they look out for each other. If she was going to kiss anyone she's glad it's Dan Heng. He never makes her feel bad or small or insignificant and he's so smart but in a way that never makes her feel stupid. March almost giggles, then, because now that she's kissed him she doesn't think she wants to stop.

There's stuff that people do during a kiss, right? Something about tongues, but she's not sure how they're supposed to go about that, so she just gently presses her's (after she's made it cool, too) against his lips, trying to see if maybe he knows more than she does about this sort of thing. )

[ Ranked among kisses across the universe, it's nothing special. It's a perfectly adequate first kiss, ignoring the fact that the two of them are as exceptional as Nameless come (a girl in the ice, a cast out high elder). It's just a sweet, simple moment.

Dan Heng likes simple moments. It's nice, when everything falls into place with a sense of "this is right." It gives him a clarity of purpose, a straight line from point A to point B in navigating the world. As they kiss, it feels like everything narrows down to that single point, her mouth against his. The smaller details are still there, of course; March's wrist is still caught in his one hand, his other now bunched in her jacket as he holds on tight. The floor rumbles as the Express' thrusters start to fire and they begin to move towards the next safe warp point. But the important part is so simple, so... nice. He thinks he likes this.

Eventually, Dan Heng pulls back back, drawing in another unsteady breath. His mouth feels cold now (nice), and her hands are still cool (also nice), and they're so close together that he feels like his hand gripping March's jacket holding him up more than his own two legs are, almost.

He should say something, right? Right. Right? What's there to say, though? ]

... Hi.

[ Unserious behavior. ]

( March doesn't have anything to weigh it against, of what it's supposed to be like or what the proper kissing protocol is, but she finds that it's fun when it's Dan Heng. It feels right in a way she absolutely doesn't have a name for, but makes her want to do it again if he'll let her. He's her first friend. He's her best friend, along with Stelle, but she doesn't want to do this with Stelle because Stelle is... well she's Stelle, isn't she?

But Dan Heng is Dan Heng. And that's good and right, March knows that with her usual surety. So when he pulls back she doesn't go far, just holding onto him with her cold hands, smiling. )

Hi, Dan Heng. ( March considers this further, before: ) We should do that again, if you want.

[ He wasn't planning on doing something impulsive like that—but that's the definition of impulsive, isn't it? Not behaving as planned. Part of him wants to process things, but at the same time, another part of him is resistant to the idea of thinking at all. ]

Okay. [ With the feeling of March's mouth still fresh on his own, her cold hand on the back of his neck, he tries to think about what he wants. What he wants to do. ]

I'd... [ March looks up at him again, a familiar smile. And Dan Heng realizes, suddenly, like it's the most normal thing in the world, that he'd like to kiss her again. But he'd also like to stick his face in her hair, and take a deep breath. ]

( Huh? He wants what? March is silent for a little bit, in case Dan Heng wants to fill it in on his own, but when he doesn't she pokes his cheek with a cold finger, attempting to prompt him. )

You'd? Don't keep me waiting, Dan Heng!

( She's not actually that impatient, as full of a smile and good cheer as she is. Instead she focuses on making her fingers still cold, her nose as cold when she presses it against his. )

[ Oh, finger... For a second, he's extra distracted, watching her digit enter his personal space slackjawed. It'd be easy to nip it. He'd like to nip it. The impulse rises in him, and he almost turns his head properly to catch her— when what he's doing finally hits him. This is bad. He can't bite March? Dan Heng's expression scrunches into a grimace of consternation, the bright pink flush creeping over his cheeks somehow increasing in intensity. His ears, in particular, are bright red, his mouth puckered into a tiny scowl. ]

I... I think I am becoming ill.

[ But he doesn't move his face away from hers, loath to abandon the comforting chill of her nose, her fingers on his cheek. ]

Please be... careful with your fingers... near my mouth...

Edited 2024-09-11 02:34 (UTC)

i want you, do you want me, too

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